so i've been home for a little over 2 weeks. i am still trying to process all that i saw and learned there. hands down this trip was one of the most impactful experiences of my life. i have looked at my pictures no less than 50 times and prayed countless prayers for the staff and kiddos at onesimus. my heart was moved and perspective on this "easy" life i live was given. since i have been home, i have constantly been asking myself (and the Lord), "so what now?" it is impossible to go on a trip like this and not have it stir some kind of emotion while there, but now that i am home, what do i do with all that i saw and experienced? what changes do i make in my daily life to show that i love Jesus with my whole being? how can i be the hands and feet of Jesus without traveling half way around the world to hand out antibiotics and rub ointment on infected little cheeks and foreheads? am i willing to love the least of these in a tangible way here in NWA? what does this look like everyday? what can i give up in my everyday life in order to give to others who have less? all of these questions have been floating around my head since i've been home and honestly i don't have clear answers for any of it yet.
here is what i do know. i want this life that i am living to be about something more than me. i want others to know that i love Jesus with all of my heart and i want to live so they can see it everyday. at the end of my days, i want to know that this life i have lived impacted others for the Gospel and made a difference. my tendency is to self-focus and i do not have this all figured out. i am not good at these things, but i want to be better. prior to the trip, i prayed constantly that the Lord would not let me leave Ethiopia unchanged. now i am constantly praying that this stirring in my heart for those who have nothing will not go away and that i will be driven to do something about it.
micah 6:8 has been on my mind a lot lately. "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."